Napoleon Complex
by LubthaNiBriste
Summary: Hera makes an exception. One-shot.


"Zeus!"

The King of the Gods cringed, shrinking back slightly in his leather recliner. There was just no satisfying his wife, was there? "Hera, darling," he began hesitantly, grabbing his television remote and flicking off his giant flat-screen. "Is there a problem, love?"

"A problem?" she asked bitterly, stopping in front of him and placing her hands on her hips. "Is there a _problem_? There's more than just a problem."

"What is it now?" he asked, heaving a dramatic sigh before letting his mouth settle into a frown. "Has Hermes done something again? Did Apollo spike the apple juice?"

"You moron!" she all but shrieked in his face, making sure to stomp on his socked toes with the bottom of her heels. He yelped, pulling his foot upwards and trying to soothe the ache. "You thought I wouldn't find out, you…you _imbecile_?"

"Find out about what?" he dared to ask, silently lecturing himself for actually yelping. His ego could only take so much damage. For a brief second, his mind flickered to Thalia. Hera couldn't have discovered his raven-haired daughter. Zeus had been keeping a close eye on the young child—hell, he even had a _mortal _watching over her.

"Really?" she inquired venomously, glaring him down. He visibly gulped, nearly cowering in his presence. He was the most fearless god to ever exist…except when it came to his psychotic wife. "You think naming your child after a Grace would keep me from finding out? It's incredibly obvious."

"Thalia is a beautiful name!" he argued, before quickly backtracking when he realized he shouldn't be concerned with names at the time. "What are you talking about, anyway?"

_Play dumb, _he advised himself, even though it was obviously too late to act as if he didn't know anything.

"For mother sake, Zeus!" she exclaimed in disbelief, slapping him upside the head. "Did you really believe, for one second, that you could fool anyone? She looks just like you! And you just defended her name!"

"Who?" he challenged, finally deciding to grow a pair and stand up for himself. "Who looks just like me? Whose name did I defend?"

"Your daughter!"

"Athena? Artemis? You're going to have to be more specific, darling."

The Queen of the Gods rubbed her forehead in irritation, obviously resisting the urge to run him through with a rake. "Thalia! Thalia! Thalia!"

"Which one?" he smirked, knowing his behavior was getting under her skin. "The Grace? Muse? What are we talking about here?"

Hera lashed out, her fist striking a nearby lamp. "Hey!" Zeus cried, outraged. "That was the lamp I picked out!" His beautiful, beautiful lamp lay broken on the floor.

"Godsdamn it, you son of a bitch!" Her nostrils flared. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"You would have hurt her," he answered, slightly calming down from his fit. "Whether you wish to believe it or not, I care for my daughter. I will do whatever is necessary in order to protect her. And if that means hiding her away from my crazy wife, I will do exactly that."

Hera sighed tiredly, sitting down on the arm of his chair. "You care for a demigod?" she asked, although it was more of a rhetorical question. "If I said that wasn't a surprise, I would be lying."

"She's a real hero," he supplied, looking down at his feet. "And merely a year old. You won't do to her as you've done to Hercules."

"Hercules was a pig-headed idiot," she defended herself. "_Is _a pig-headed idiot," she corrected.

"He's matured remarkably. Just because most of my children have been egotistical and selfish, doesn't mean all of them will be. Thalia shares some of my features and characteristics—in fact, more so than any other of my offspring—but that does not make her like one of her brothers."

"Mother Rhea, you actually care."

"Why is that such a surprise to you?" he snapped, growing agitated. "Other gods care about their brats! Why can I not care about my daughter without people jumping all over me?"

"In case you've forgotten, it's not exactly in your nature to give two shits," she retorted, sneering.

"It isn't in our nature," he corrected. "People change."

"Gods don't!"

"Maybe not in age or physically," he admitted. "But we can change. You're just too stubborn and uptight to change yourself."

"_I'm stubborn_?" she repeated incredulously. "Why, you're ridiculous! Do you hear yourself? Gods changing? You are out of your mind, my Lord!"

"I am most certainly _not _out of my mind!" he argued, rising. "If you could look past that irrational jealously of yours for one second, you might be able to see that you're the only crazy one here!"

"You're a disgrace to our name," she declared, crossing her arms defiantly over her chest. Why, she was already a laughing stock amongst gods. The one and only goddess of marriage couldn't keep her rolling stone of a husband in line. She could see it printed across the top of Olympus Daily now: _Goddess of Marriage, Cheated on Again. _Hasn't he done this enough already?

* * *

Hera hated all of the brats her husband sired with mortal women. She saw them all as horrid, disgusting mistakes (which they were). She cursed each child of Zeus. It had been a steady-going tradition of hers since Hercules was born. Zeus never minded; he didn't care too much for anyone, even his own offspring.

Except for one.

After eons of siring bastard children, Zeus found himself able to love one of them. She wanted to puke just thinking about it. How could he _love _a worthless demigod? She wrinkled her nose in disgust, walking along the cold streets of Michigan, searching for an old run-down house.

West Robinson Street would definitely be the place to find said house. She eventually spotted it, visibly cringing at the sight of the—for lack of a more accurate word—_shack_. The part of her that didn't want to kill his husband's mortal spawn (which was a _very _small part), pitied the girl for the poor living conditions.

Irritation simmered beneath her cordial smile as she raised her hand to knock on the worn, wooden door. She heard light shuffling inside and obscene rock music being shut off before the door finally opened. A redhead, smacking her gum, blocked her entrance. Hera could easily guess this wasn't the whore her husband had been sleeping with. He was a fan of blondes and this girl was far too young, anyway.

"Yeah?" the rude teen asked, setting a hand on her jean-clad hip. The Queen of the Gods guessed she was merely fifteen. She frowned disapprovingly at the young girl's tone. "Are you, like, a friend of Seraphina's?"

_Seraphina_. She was positive this was the name of the mortal who had lured her husband away from his godly duties. He had always been a fan of women with rather unique names. Hera's lips settled into a thin line, her hand coming to rest on the young girl's shoulder. "Step aside."

The girl's brown eyes widened and she smiled excitedly. "Is there anything I can get you, ma'am? Coffee? A cat? A house?"

Hera rolled her eyes. Honestly, mortals weren't even worth her time. She couldn't understand why so many gods and goddesses ran off to associate with them. "Leave," she commanded, stepping into the house. "Now."

The girl started to leave and then turned around and grinned madly. "My name is Nikki," she claimed, and then sprinted out onto the lawn and down the street.

Hera snickered. "Do I _care_?"

_No. _

The goddess searched the house, which wasn't much, until she found a room with a colorful, childish door. It was painted a sky blue, with stickers of animals all over it, and a girl's name in fine, gold print near the top. _Thalia. _

She swung the door open immediately, as she was sure that this was the room of her husband's offspring. She knew already that Zeus favored this child among his infinite others; he had actually _named _her. Hera expected to find a messy room, with toys strung out across the floor. She expected there to be stuffed animals littering the small bed.

What she didn't expect to find, however, was bright blue eyes peeking out at her from under the Egyptian cotton bedspread. Hera didn't let her surprise show on her face. She had never seen a child that resembled her father in such a way. Her eyes, bluer than the Aegean Sea, were identical to that of her husband's. Dark, curly locks sat upon the girl's head, stopping above her shoulders. The strands of hair seemed to frame the toddler's face and neck, making her look more like a little boy. A light train of freckles danced across the plain of her nose, splattering and ending on her youthful cheeks. Even though Hera knew the child to be only a year old, the girl was tall enough to pass for three or four.

The goddess had seen this child once before, from a distance, but the sight of the child peaked her interest.

"Mama," the soft voice echoed in the silence of the house. Hera's eyebrows furrowed in surprise. Had she heard right? "Food," the girl clarified, sitting up slightly in bed.

The Queen of the Gods eyed the girl's lack of attire in disapproval. She didn't have a shirt on, leaving her thin yet babyish chest exposed, and a cartoon-decorative diaper was beginning to peel off on her hips.

Hera stepped forward, a frustrated sigh escaping between her lips. She hated the kid, of course, but she couldn't let her walk around looking like she did. It was irresponsible of the girl's mother to leave her with such a foolish babysitter. The girl didn't even know how to change a simple diaper, for goddess sake. She picked the baby up, placing her on a nearby diaper changing station. She suspected Zeus provided that for _Seraphina_.

Hera's lip curled up in disgust, but she pushed the jealous thoughts from her mind as she began to change the baby's diaper. Thankfully, for her, the child had not soiled the undergarments. After putting a fresh diaper on the girl, she stood her up on the station.

"Where does your mother keep your clothes?" she asked, expecting the stupid child not to comprehend her question. When the only response she got was a blank stare and some drooling, she sighed. "Fine. I'll flatter you. Where are your shirts?" she cooed, sarcasm lacing her voice.

The baby—Thalia, or monster (as Hera preferred to call her)—gave a childish laugh, poking the goddess' cheek with her little finger. Whereas she would have found this action cute with any other child, she found it to be ridiculous of Thalia.

She set the girl back in the bed and began to dig through the cherry wood dresser. She eventually found a blue nightshirt, and slipped it over Thalia's head. The shirt went down over the child's bubbly bottom. It was a tad bit big, but it would do.

She tilted her head to the side in contemplation, and frowned when the toddler imitated her. It wasn't mocking, only a mere child antic, but it was enough to make Hera growl in frustration.

What curse would she put on the brat? Hera wanted to come up with something original, as it wasn't everyday Zeus forgot to wear protection. _Not that he bothered to wear it in the first place, of course_, she thought bitterly.

She could curse the child with ugliness or a second head. A third eye had always been one of her favorite curses. Every familiar curse that passed through her mind disappointed her. None of them seemed to suffice as a punishment. Hera didn't wish to curse the infant with insanity, even though she laughed her immortal ass off when Hercules slaughtered his own family. The goddess wanted to plan something excellent. Unfortunately, she couldn't think of anything. _Anything_.

It shouldn't be this difficult.

She wasn't going to turn her into an animal. That would only be funny for the first two or three years. The little girl popped her small thumb in and out of her mouth and Hera began to smile. She realized with a start what she was doing and stopped immediately. This girl wasn't cute. Hera hated her.

"Food," the baby said again, before beginning to babble incomprehensively. Hera smirked slowly, her devious mind finally sprouting ideas. The kid was so incredibly annoying; the goddess was tempted to plague her with the curse of Tantalus.

"Have you eaten, runt?" she asked, in a sickly sweet falsetto.

Instead of responding, the demon child stood up on the bed and bounced up and down on the firm surface. A hyperactive child, of course; all demigods were hyperactive by nature. "Are you sure you _require _food?" she asked, incredulous. "For Olympus sake, you are already energetic."

"I know," the girl replied, surprising Hera. She had been starting to think the baby only knew two words. She watched curiously as the girl fingered the scar that ran through her dark eyebrow. "Mama knows."

"Your mother will be home shortly," a voice promised. Hera spun around to glare at the recent intruder. It was the infatuated redhead from before. She thought she had gotten rid of her. _Worthless mortals. _

"What are you doing here?" Hera questioned, unemotionally. She was growing irritated.

"Uh, I'm babysitting," the teen replied, as if it were the stupidest question in the world. "Duh." She stepped towards the bed and lifted Thalia into her arms. "Sorry the kid is messing with you. She's a major asshole. All she does is giggle and eat."

"It is not the child that is disturbing me," Hera spoke lowly, her voice dangerous and thick with anger.

The teen didn't seem to notice. "I gave the brat tons of drowsy cough medicine earlier, but it didn't knock her out." She shrugged, meeting the goddess' narrowed eyes.

"You gave a baby medicine to make her sleep?"

"Well, yeah," she responded, her hazel eyes clouded over. She was obviously still entranced by the presence of the goddess. "My name is Nikki."

"I am aware, mortal."

"Is there anything I can do for you, oh holy one?" Nikki asked, getting to her knees. Hera swiftly took the child from the teen's grasp and scowled.

"Leave this place and never return."

"Yes, master!" the redhead exclaimed, and rushed out of the bedroom. Hera rolled her eyes. Mortals were so terribly useless. That entire exchange was a complete waste of her time. As for the curse…

"Say, would you prefer to have a never-ending obsession with chasing the neighborhood animals or a giant lemon for a nose?" she asked the toddler in her arms. Her question sent the young girl into a laughter fit and Hera allowed her self a tiny smile.

The goddess supposed she could wait a while before cursing this one. There was no need to rush and give the girl some pathetic curse when she could easily bide her time and come up with something magnificent. Hera snapped her fingers, causing a small meal to appear on the girl's plastic play table. Two sandwiches sat on a plate and a family-size bag of potato chips shimmered into existence next to it.

"Chocolate milk or juice?"

"Juice," the girl smiled wide, butchering the pronunciation of the simple word. With another snap of the goddess' fingers, the toddler now had her choice of drink in a sippy-cup.

"Eat," Hera instructed, setting the excited one-year-old on the floor. She smirked, watching the toddler pad her way across the room to the food and quickly begin to devour it. She had an appetite on her, all right.

As well as an Alfalfa cowlick. Hera wrinkled her nose in distaste before smoothing down the child's hair. Unfortunately, it didn't do the girl any good. _Eternal cowlick? _Hera pondered. No, it wasn't extreme enough. This child needed to pay for…for…existing? The goddess' mouth stretched into a frown. Putting it that way, it sounded corrupt and justified. But it was justified! Well…wasn't it?

The child was sure to be nothing good.

Damn it, why couldn't she think of a curse?

Maybe she could give the babe an extra limb or two. _Overdone, _she reminded herself. Could she use the curse of Midas? No, her mother would likely make a profit from her daughter. The goddess sighed and exited the room, not bothering to look back at the child when she heard the youthful voice.

She'd just think of a curse later. Not due to the fact she didn't loathe the girl, because she _did_. Hera just couldn't think of a curse. Not yet, anyway. She'd give it time; play the careful bystander. When the opportunity presented itself, she'd strike like a viper and go in for the kill. Not literately a kill, of course…unless she found herself unable to curse the brat.

With time, she'd come up with something. Or maybe just forget it all together.

* * *

**A/N: Well, that was my first one-shot. Not sure if I'll ever make anything out of it, but the idea came to me and I just wrote it down. There aren't any Hera/Thalia fics, or if there are there aren't many, so I thought, "Why not just post it?" So, I did. Obviously, ha. Review and tell me what you think? **


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